Blonde Suicide

A blonde walks into a doctors office with a gunshot wound in her hand.

The doctor asks, “How did this happen?”

She replies, “Well, I was trying to commit suicide. I stuck the gun to my head and then…just before I pulled the trigger… I thought, this is going to be loud. So I covered my other ear before pulling the trigger”


Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.”

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, “Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.”

Sister Mary Katherine said, “Hard bed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the Priest said, “We will get you a better bed.”

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. “You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.

“Cold food,” said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. “You may say two words today.”

“I quit,” said Sister Mary Katherine.

“It’s probably best”, said the Priest, “You’ve done nothing but moan since you’ve been here.”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis