Be Bolder

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach.

The marriage counselor told him, “If you wish to save your marriage, you’d better be a little boulder.”

Different Answer

“Excuse me, could you tell me the time?” asked the blonde of a man on the street corner.
“Sure….it’s three fifteen,”he replied with a smile.
“Thanks,” she said, a puzzled look crossing her face.”You know, it’s the weirdest thing-I’ve been asking that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer.”

Physic Parrot

Three women walk in a pet shop.

Suddenly the parrot yells out, “Yellow, pink, blue.”

The first lady says, “That’s funny, I�m wearing yellow underwear.”

The second lady says “well I’m wearing pink.”

The third lady says “No way, I’m wearing blue.”

To test the parrot, the next day, all of them wore white and the parrot shouted, “white ! white ! white!”

The three women are amazed.

The final test was the third day, just as they walk in the parrot yelled “Bald, curly and straight!”

They never went there again!!

Medical Miracles

An Israeli doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor says, “That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says, “In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says, “You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House for four years, and now half the country is looking for work.”