Viagra ingredients revealed!

After much research and millions of dollars, our scientists have
discovered the secret ingredients to Viagra!

VIAGRA INGREDIENT LIST: (TopSecret!) 3% Vitamin E 2% aspirin 2%
ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C

…and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . …92% Fix-A-Flat!

Football and the girlfriend

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game.The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, ‘Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.’His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, ‘That’s the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, . . . I accept!’

Swearing like Dad

Two brothers, aged 7 and 4, were in their room getting dressed before breakfast.

“I say it’s time started swearing like Dad” said the 7 year old. “So, when we go down to breakfast, I’ll use the word ‘damn’ and you use the word ‘ass’.”

“OK” said the 4 year old.

When the boys get to the kitchen they hop up on to their chairs at the table.

“What do you want for breakfast, boys ?” asked their Mother.

“Let me have some damn Cheerios” said the 7 year old.

One second later the Mother took her wooden spoon and laid it across his behind with a loud “Crack!” Screaming at the top of his lungs the 7 year old ran upstairs.

“And what will YOU have for breakfast?” said the Mother turning to the 4 year old.

“Well, I’m not sure”, he said, “But you can bet your ass it isn’t going to be Cheerios.”