Starting young

A five-year-old is mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer.

The preacher who lives across the street sees the beer and comes over to lecture the kid.

“Aren’t you a little young to be drinking, son?” the preacher asks.

The kid replies, “That’s nothing, I got laid when I was three.”

“What? How did that happen?”

“I don’t remember. I was drunk.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci

Quiet in Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Fancy Plate

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays.

After looking over the menu he says, “I’ll just have the eggs benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a huge fancy chrome plate.

He asks the waiter, “What’s with the fancy plate?”
The waiter replies, “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”