scope

A guy needed a new scope for his shotgun so he went to a shop
and asked the guy if he could buy a scope
the guy said yes we sell them so then the guy said this is the
best scope he said you could see my house from
here and the guy said why is there a naked man and woman running
around your house the clerk said let me
take a look and he gave the guy two bullets and said i want you
to shoot off the guys dick and my wifes
head so then the guy looked through the scope and said i think i
can do that in one shot

That Must have Hurt!

Two five year old boys are standing at the potty to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”

“I’ve been circumcised.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means they cut the skin off the end.”

“How old were you when it was cut off?”

“My mom said I was two days old.”

“Did it hurt?”

“You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

Flat Tire

A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat tire. He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap. After he struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, ‘You wanna screwdriver?’He says, “Hell, We might as well. I can’t get this freaking hubcap off.”

Show off:

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.