Frantic call

A frantic call was received by a user that his external computer equipment
wasn’t working. The problem was quickly resolved when tech support asked how
many cables were coming out from the piece of equipment. “One replied the
caller” The power cord hadn’t been connected.

Flowers

A blonde and brunette were walking down the road.

The brunette see’s her husband, and he is carrying flowers.

The brunette says to the blonde “now I’m going to half to spread my legs!”, and the blonde says “why? don’t you have a vase?”

Invalid responses

A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his
computer had told him he was ‘bad and invalid’. The tech explained that the
computer’s ‘bad’ command and ‘invalid’ responses shouldn’t be taken personally.

Sick of Her

Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he’s
going to divorce his wife.

“Good grief,” says Jim, “you and Sue are the happiest couple I know! Why on
earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of
obvious bliss?”

“Well,” replies Fred, “truth be known, I’m just bored with screwing the same
hole night after night after night. I guess I’m hankering’ for a bit of
variety.”

Jim replied, “Well, if you want variety, why don’t you just, you
know, turn her over every now and again?”

Fred says, “What? And have a house full of kids?”

The Top 13 Taglines for Movies Featuring Unlikely Action Heroes

13> Anna Nicole Smith goes after ancient treasure as Emma Balmer in “Tomb Dater.”

12> See George Walker Bush as George Herbert Walker Bush in “Once Upon a Time in Iraq.”

11> William Shatner shows terrorists for the bald-faced liars they are as Frank Follicle in “Toupe Beverly Hills.”

10> Ben Kingsley’s done with passive resistance — now MaHotHead Gandhi’s thinning out the bad guys in “The Fasting and the Furious.”

9> David Spade as Sammy the Elf in “I Nailed Mrs. Claus.”

8> Don Knotts is Henry Limpet in “The Ass-Kicking Mr. Limpet: Limpet Lives!”

7> Nick Nolte *is* Al Coholic in “Cider-Man.”

6> McCauley Culkin as Neo in “Matrix, We Are Now Officially Out of Ideas.”

5> From Vice President to adventure hero, don’t miss “Indiana Quayle and the Spelling Bee of Doom.”

4> Gray Davis as Private Sector in “The Terminated.”

3> Pee Wee Herman as Rod Wanker tries his hand at self-espionage in “The Pourne Identity.”

2> Justin Timberlake goes where no man has gone before as I. D. Flowerder in “Breakfast at Britney’s.”

1> Woody Allen one-ups Shaft as Oedipus X in “Mighty Afrodite.”

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]