Knock Knock 54

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Duane!
Duane who?
Duane the bath, I’m dwowning!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dummy!
Dummy who?
Dummy a favour and go away!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dunce!
Dunce who?
Dunce-ay another word!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dustin Hoffman!
Dustin Hoffman who?
Dustin Hoffman welcome mat for you!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dwayne!
Dwayne who?
Dwayne in Spain falls mainly on the plain…!

Bush Wants The Whole World

(instrumental intro)
Bush wants the whole world… in his hand.
Bush wants the whole wide world… in his hand.
Bush wants the whole world… in his hand.
Bush wants the whole world in his hand.
Bush wants a war for his father, understand?
Bush wants a war for his father, understand?
Bush wants a war for his father, understand?
Bush wants the whole world in his hand.
Bush wants to jail resisters, in his land.
Bush wants to jail resisters, in his land.
Bush wants to jail resisters, in his land.
Bush wants the whole world in his hand.
Bush wants to steal Iraq’s oil … from their land.
Bush wants to steal Iraq’s oil … from their land.
Bush wants to steal Iraq’s oil … from their land.
Bush wants the whole world in his hand.
Bush wants a world empire; dissent banned.
Bush wants a world empire; dissent banned.
Bush wants a world empire; dissent banned.
Bush wants the whole world in his hand.
Ignored the whole world for their stand.
Ignored the whole wide world for their stand.
Ignored the whole world for their stand.
Bush wants his war, just like he planned.

Baseball in heaven

Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob’s voice from beyond. ‘Bob is that you?’ Earl asked. ‘Of course it me,’ Bob replied. ‘This is unbelievable!’ Earl exclaimed. ‘So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?’ ‘Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?’ ‘Tell me the good news first.’ ‘Well, the good news is that, yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl.’ ‘Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?’ ‘You’re pitching tomorrow night.’