A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.
The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!”” Whereupon the chef
grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat
One day a penis, a pickle and a cucumber were all standing around talking about how much their lifes suck.
The Cucumber said “Imagine sitting in dirt all your life and then shoved in a bag
At school, a teacher puts up a question on the board every Friday. Whoever gets it correct, gets to go home early, and stay home till Monday. The teacher puts up questions so hard, that the kids can’t answer it.
One day a kid went home, took 2 golf balls, spray-painted it black, put it in a brown bag and went to school. Before the teacher put up the question the boy rolled the 2 golf balls to the front of the room.
The teacher saw it, and asked, “Who’s the comedian with the black balls?”” The kidd stood up
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was
taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she
had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?””
There were three men hiking in the mountains and they came upon a cabin. They decided to stay there for the night because it was getting late and it was cold. It was really cold that they all decided to slept in the same bed.
The next day they all woke up and the man to the left said, “Man I had the weirdest dream
Two hungry cannibals are walking through the forest when they see a man
who had recently passed away. One cannibal says, “Look at this! You start
at the feet and I’ll start at the head and we’ll meet in the middle.”” So
the two cannibals start eating. After a half an hour one stops eating
A man goes to the doctor and says that he is worried because one of his testicles has turned blue. the doctor examins this and decides the only way to help would be to have the testicle amputated. The man decides to go through with the operation. The next week the man comes back and says his other testicle has turned blue, and once again the doctor recomends that the testicle should be removed. The following week the man comes back again and says his penis has turned blue also. After alot of arguing the man decides that the doctor is right and he should have his penis amputated. The week after the man has had a plastic tube inserted in place of his penis he comes back and says “Doc
Three women, while traveling in a train, are discussing
different types of pain. The first woman says, “There is no pain
like when you suffer a fracture”. The second woman says, “That’s
nothing. Post-surgical pain is the worst”. The third woman says,
“I disagree. Pain during childbirth is the severest”. An old man
who is resting up on the top bunk overhears this conversation
and interrupts them. “I don’t think you three have ever
experienced a swift kick to the balls”.
What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?
complete controll of a leperchan!
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Because breasts don’t have eyes.