There were 3 male windowwashers. One Mexican one American and one Polish. At lunch break one day the Mexican opened his lunch and got a burrito. He said,”man if i get another burrito im gonna jump.”” The American said
OK THREE GUYS GET STRANDED IN THE COUNTRY AND A FARMER FINDS THEM AND LETS THEM SLEEP IN HIS HOME.HE TELLS THEM THEY MAY STAY THERE BUT THEY MAY NOT TOUCH OR GO NEAR HIS SEXY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER OR ELSE HE WILL KILL THEM.SO FINALLY THE FARMER GOES TO SLEEP THE FIRST GUY GOES DOWN STAIRS AND HAS SEX WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.THE GUY TRIES TO COME UP QUIETLY AND SUDDENLY THE FARMER JUMPES OUT AND SAYS WHOS THERE THE GUY SAYS”MEOW”” SO FARMER SAYS OH GOOD NIGHT YAH DUMB CAT.SO LATER THE SECOND GUY GOES DOWNSTAIRS AND HAS SEX WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.THE SECOND GUY COMES BACK UP STAIRS AND GETS CAUGHT THE FARMER SAYD WHOS THERE THE SECOND GUY SAYS RUFF RUFF.THE FARMER SIGHS IN RELIEF OH GOOD NIGHT YAH F***IN DOG.SO THEN THIRD GUY GOES DOWN STAIRS AND HAS SEX WITH THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.HE COMES UP STAIRS THE FARMER YELLS WHOS THE THERE THE THIRD GUY YELLS ITS ONLY ME THE DOG.BOOM
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, “Yup
There were three idiots and a mushroom. The first idiot says to the mushroom, “Do you want to know the sound of an angry goose running from a dog in the local park?””
The mushroom doesn’t answer so the three idiots answered for it. “”Honk
One morning, a hillbilly went to feed his donkey and it wouldn’t eat.The hillbilly went to get the other hillbilly and they both took him to the vet.The vet told them the donkey had a cold,so she gave him these big,round horse pills.She told the hillbillys to stick the pills up the donkeys “anis”” when it is time for it to eat.The two hillbillys went back to their farm.When they got their
Three men were builing a bridge and they decided to take a lunch brake.
The first man opened his lunch and said”If i get pasta for lunch one more time i am gonna jump off this bridge””
The second man opened his lunch a exclaimed””If i get a hotdog for lunch one more time i’m gonna jump off this bridge””
The last man opened his lunch and said””If i get peanut butter one more time for lunch i’m gonna jump off this bridge””
The next day they all jump off the bridge.
at the funeral
A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, however, the wife wasn’t having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay with the others since several of his important clients were there.
As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jerves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.
She looked at him and smiled. “Jerves
There were three guys (black, white, mexican) who worked as construction workers. They built buildings and stuff. Everyday at lunch they always got the same kind of sanwhich. ex. black dude got turkey, white dude got jelly, and the mexican dude got ham. One day they were on top of a building in which they were building, and it was lunchtime. So they opened their lunches. They were disappointed because they got the same lunch as yesterday. So the black guy said “Tomorrow
Dear SonI am writing this slow cause I know you can’t read fast.We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happened within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address cause the last family that lived here took the numbers with then to there next house so they wont have to change there address, I wish the I have thought of that.This place has a small washing machine. the first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.It only rained twice this week- three days the first time and four days the second.The coat you wanted me to send you; your aunt sue said it was too heavy to send it by mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Don’t tell anyone.We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn’t make the last payment on Grandma’s funeral bill; up she comes. Luck we have a spare bedroom in the new place. We can move her when you come to visit.About your father- he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 people under him; he is cutting grass at the cemetery.Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out if it was a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if you are a aunt or an uncle.Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. One was driving two was in the back bed. The driver got out- he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned; they couldn’t get the tailgate down.Your uncle Mike fell in the whiskey vat at work. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. He wanted to be cremated, burned for three days.
There once was three explorers, an english explorer, a spanish explorer, and a polish explorer an idiotwere exploring an island and they got captured by vikings. The Vikings said they would kill the explorers and cut their skin off their bodies to use as boats because the Vikings boat sank. The Vikings said they would Grant each one of the explorers one big big wish. The English guy wished for a sword and he stabbed himself. The spanish guy wished for a dagger and he stabbed himself. The polish guy wished for a fork, So then the polish idiot took the fork and started stabbing little holes in himself all over his body,and said “I hope your boat sinks.”