There were 101 nuns in a convent, Mother Superior and 100 Sisters. One sunday, all of the nuns were kept in after praying. Mother Superior stood before them and announced that there had been a MAN in the convent last night.
99 Nuns went “Oh no!””
1 Nun went “”Tee Hee Hee!””
Mother Superior then went on say that a condom had been found in the corridor.
99 Nuns went “”Oh NO!!””
1 Nun went “”Tee Hee Hee!!””
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about ‘courting’ from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister
and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. “Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while
Out in the country walked a family of ducks together. A mother, father and baby. As they attempted to cross the road, a car came speeding down he lane hitting and killing the mother and father duck, leaving the baby duck all by itself. Sadly, the baby duck began to wander around.
About a half mile down the same road a family of skunks attempted to cross the road. Once again, a car came speeding down the lane killing the mother and father skunk. The baby skunk didn’t know what to do so he wandered about as the duck did.
Eventually, the baby duck and baby skunk met up with each other. Happy for company the duck began to speak. “I was walking with my family and they were hit and killed just now. I am so young I don’t even know what I am…will you help me?”” The baby skunk looked at the baby duck and said “”Well
One day a blonde and her husband was walking home from the park when all of a sudden the blonde’s husband fell and he told her that he was having a heartattack.
a brunnette walked by and the blond asked “what’s the number for 911?””
and the brunnette said i dont know
Early one Christmas morning, Suzy, a shapely young woman was sitting by the fireplace eagerly but patiently awaiting the arrival of old St.Nick. After a few hours and even a few more heavily laced bourbon egg-nogs she heard a noise on the roof and sure enough Santa was soon standing before her.
“Have you been naughty or nice this year?”” he asked.
Suzy had been nice all damn year and was ready to do the other thing. While Santa placed his gifts around the tree Suzy was busy taking off her blouse. He turned around and heard her say “”Santa…can you please stay?””
Thinking of all the childeren who were awaiting presents
My littl girl Abby and I were playing in the grass of our front yard and we were on the steps ready to now cooome in when she saw a spider ! She got creeped so I stepped on it and she said ” mom will it go to heaven?”” I said to her “”sure
A radio station is holding a competition for a trip to hawai. Somebody rings up , tells them a word that isn’t in the dictionary and then puts it in a sentence. This is how it went
First caller: Hi my name Adam and my word is G-o-a-n pronounced “Go an””.
Presenter: Okay thats not in the dictionary now whats your sentence.
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?”” she asked. He replied
One day at the end of class little Johnny’s teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The
following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their
story, little Suzy raises her hand.
“My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck
and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well
What a Scotsman Wears Under His Kilt
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a
large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to
nap against a tree. As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud
snoring. When they found him, one said, “I’ve always wondered what a
Scotsman wears under his kilt.”” She boldly walked over to the sleeper